A Podcaster’s Drug-Fueled Manic Episode Led to a Dangerous Tattoo, a Severe Infection, and a Near-Amputation — Illustrating How Impulsivity During Mania Can Turn Deadly

Bunnie Xo, the podcaster behind Dumb Blonde and wife of country music artist Jelly Roll, nearly lost her hand after impulsive behavior during a manic episode led to a tattoo session in a stranger’s garage.

The story, detailed in her new memoir Stripped Down: Unfiltered and Unapologetic, is a stark illustration of what research calls one of mania’s most dangerous features: the collapse of impulse control.

At the time, Bunnie Xo was addicted to crystal meth. During what she describes as a “drug-induced manic episode,” she decided to get two stars tattooed on her wrists — not at a licensed shop, but in a garage, as reported by Wide Open Country.

She and the tattoo artist used drugs before the session. When the needle hit her wrist, she asked him to go deeper. He did — for hours — eventually hitting her wristbone.

The infection that followed was severe. Her wrist swelled to the size of her bicep, her fingers ballooned, and the smell, she wrote, was “like death.” A doctor at the hospital told her she was close to amputation. “He sent me home with antibiotics and the fear of God,” she wrote. “I was done with meth.”

Why Mania Destroys Decision-Making

Bunnie Xo’s experience tracks closely with what researchers have documented about impulsive behavior during a manic episode. A 2022 review published in the Journal of Clinical Medicine found that impulsivity in bipolar disorder is particularly elevated during manic states, manifesting as motor impulsivity — the inability to stop a behavior once it’s started — even when the consequences are obvious.

Separately, research from Oxford University published in Brain found that people with bipolar disorder show reduced prefrontal regulation of reward processing, meaning the brain’s brake system is weakened while its accelerator is floored. The result: impulsive spending, risky sex, substance use, and decisions — like getting a tattoo in a garage — that seem incomprehensible in hindsight.

This is not a character flaw. It is a neurological feature of mania. And when substance use is layered on top, as in Bunnie Xo’s case, the risk multiplies.

Harm Reduction, Not Shame

For people living with bipolar disorder, the aftermath of impulsive behavior during mania — tattoos, debt, damaged relationships, legal trouble — often brings shame and financial wreckage.

Clinicians say that harm reduction strategies, not guilt, are the most effective response. Building a mania action plan, involving trusted people in financial decisions, and addressing substance use are all evidence-based approaches.

Bunnie Xo’s willingness to tell this story publicly matters. “It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through,” she said. “Believe in yourself, and know that you can change your life at any time and at any age.”

A note from Liam Ronan: I’m have experience with mpulsive decisions during mania, and the shame afterward can be just as damaging as the decisions themselves. What I’ve learned is that mania doesn’t make you a bad person — it makes you a person whose brain temporarily stopped protecting you from yourself. Recovery means forgiving those moments and building systems so they don’t happen again.

See recent or related posts:
• The Financial Wreckage of Mania — and Tools That Can Prevent It
• 8 Triggers That Can Spark a Manic Episode
• Practical Strategies for Managing Hypomania and Mania
• Signs and Symptoms of Mania
• My Symptoms of Hypomania That Became Mania