Firsthand accounts of running away and ties to manic episodes

–“My bipolar 1 spouse sold his car in 2022 for a one-way ticket to Hawaii with no plan or extra money,” says an anonymous commenter. “He lived unhoused on the beach until I was able to afford a flight home.”

Individuals with bipolar disorder may experience a recurring urge to run away, often linked to manic or hypomanic episodes, says Andrea, a member of a Facebook support group.

“This desire to escape can manifest as a yearning to leave their current situation, sometimes even leading to impulsive and risky behaviors like running away from home,” she says.

The post sparked over 70 comments largely confirming the sentiment.

“I have done this on multiple occasions,” a commenter says. “It’s messed my whole life up a few times. I’ve felt this often and didn’t understand why or where it was coming from,” another user shares.

“I have moved house and country so many times,” an anonymous user writes. “Always searching for greener grass, happier times—until I made peace with myself.”

“I ran away from home once while manic,” another anonymous user says. “It was almost deadly. I had a full-on psychotic break from reality.”

One writer shares, “I felt a strong urge to runaway from my problems, take a vacation, disconnect from my devices, and ignore my work responsibilities.”

A commenter on Reddit shares, “I’m 46 and at least five times during mania I’ve sold almost everything I had and just moved to a different country by myself, no plan. Or broken up a relationship and moved to a different city within my country.”

A writer on Quora says, “What I know about the disorder from personal experience and that of my friends with bipolar is that highly charged situations tend to overwhelm us, heighten our anxiety, and increase the possibility of hypomania or mania to occur.”

While the urge to run away is not officially listed as a symptom of mania, it overlaps with many recognized symptoms, and patients frequently report it.

Links between mania and running away

• Irritability and agitation mean small things can upset you and trigger a powerful urge to run away.
• Strong feelings of avoidance fuel the need to escape stressful problems and situations.
• High energy levels and the desire to keep moving—combined with a lack of sleep—make fleeing feel natural.
• Racing thoughts and rapid ideation generate new ideas like starting a new life, launching a business, hiding away to write a book, and traveling the world.
• Intense impulsivity creates the urgency to act on these escape fantasies.
• Risky behavior, such as selling your possessions, draining bank accounts, and taking off, often follows.
• Delusions of grandeur make you believe you can run away and achieve amazing new things, which often turn out to be unrealistic or overconfident.
• Self-awareness of being manic, and wanting to hide it from others, can drive someone to escape.
• Feelings of ostracism or embarrassment about manic behavior may also fuel the urge to disappear out of shame.

Comment from a reader with bipolar manic depression: My personal experience tells me this is true. It makes me sad because it is a self-destructive behavior. Part of me wants to run and hide because I feel like a failure, or that I will embarrass myself more as mania sets in, hurt those I love more, and I don’t want others to see me in a terrible spiral.

Someone told me a manic episode can be like the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When normal, Dr.Jekyll is an upstanding member of society. But at night he becomes a completely different person and is out of control. It reminds me of how it feels to be bipolar.

Another comparison I heard was to the legend of a werewolf. While they are normal most of their life, on rare occasions they lash out and hurt people, often the ones they love. Werewolves also are incredibly powerful, as a manic imagines themselves to be. Doesn’t the fairly tale sound like a man having a manic episode? A dark tragedy indeed.