YouTube creator shares unfiltered glimpse into a hypomanic state

—In this video, YouTube user SchizoKitzo talks about what it’s like to experience hypomania symptoms.

“I describe what it’s like, and you can see firsthand what my brain is like when it’s hypomanic and what I am like when I’m feeling this way,” she says. “It’s hypomania, which is a less intense form of mania that doesn’t last as long and doesn’t ruin my life.”

The symptoms begin as she got excited for an anime convention she is attending.

SchizoKitzo says she noticed a feeling of high energy the day before and now it has evolved into euphoria, or “bright mania,” as she calls it. “Dark mania,” she says, is more restless and angry.

She has self-awareness that she is in a manic state as she talks rapidly, discusses irritability, and frequently loses her train of thought. Many people suffering from bipolar disorder do not realize they are experiencing hypomania. “I don’t normally realize I have it,” she says.

She says she’s driven by a strong desire to move fast and has intense feelings of frustration and anger due to the perceived slowness of everything around her, even mundane tasks like waiting while pumping gas. “Nothing moves fast enough. I try to get the world to speed up around me.”

SchizoKitzo exhibits many common symptoms of hypomania and mania:

• Her mood is euphoric. “It felt like someone had injected me with adrenaline. Hypomania feels awesome in the moment. I feel great right now! This is like caffeine times 100.”
• She is moving around and fidgeting with excessive energy 
• She talks about decreased need for sleep. “I’m awake at like really late at night and I wake up this morning and like I don’t need sleep … and I’m ready to take on the world!” She said she is getting five hours sleep.
• She appears to have racing thoughts and flights of ideas. She’s easily distracted and frequently loses her train of thought. “My brain just goes 90-miles-per-hour and I can’t keep track of everything happening to me.”
• She is very talkative. She has so much to say that she speaks very rapidly.
• She says she feels very impulsive and she’s worried about spending too much at the convention. She craves risk-taking behaviors “I want to drive really fast in a car around a tight curve. I don’t really think about consequences much.”
• She feels like taking on multiple projects at once and engaging in creative activities, like knitting.

SchizoKitzo says stress is the primary trigger for her bipolar episodes. “I get stressed before I go to these conventions,” she says. “Stress triggers episodes for me. They typically begin with a manic or hypomanic phase before transitioning into depression, she says. 

Despite knowing the importance of slowing down, the creator finds it difficult and unappealing. “I don’t really know how to make it stop.”

The 12-minute video offers rare insight into a real-time hypomanic episode and has sparked discussion in the mental health community, with over 93,000 views 650 comments. It was filmed in February, 2024.

Comment from a reader: This courageous young woman bravely videoed herself during an episode of hypomania. It is great to see her honesty and share her experience with others. To me, her behavior in the video seems to be more typical of a manic episode. She has many more videos to share on her channel. They are worth checking out.