– By Alex Rowan

– After a lengthy manic episode, I fell into a period of shame, despair, and depression. It was filled with crushing anxiety.

All my brain could do was ruminate on negative thoughts because of the many mistakes I made and the path of destruction I had left. 

Here are some of the things I did, and still do, to help me:

I made simple to do check lists for each day. They were to keep me on track and also small successes I could feel good about. Keep in mind, during my manic episode, I thought I was getting a lot done, but I wasn’t. I was actually destroying my life. So small daily wins became a slow road to recovery.

Journaling everyday. Some days this was just a repeat of my to do list, noting the things I did for the day. Most days, I tried to write a bit more. I had a lot to say, but it all seemed so negative. 

My advice is to just share all the feelings. Dump them out. Once the negative thoughts are on paper, they lose some of their power. Listing gratitudes is a great way to keep your journaling positive. Even in the depths of despair, we all have many things to be grateful for. 

Daily affirmations. Make a list of positive statements you can tell yourself aloud every morning when you first wake up. This will uplift you and give you the energy to face the day.

Yoga Nidra, allows you to lie comfortably and follow a guided meditation. I find it helpful first thing in the morning or after waking up at night with spiraling negative thoughts.

Traditional meditations are available free on the Insight Timer app and YouTube.

Read books or listened to them. When I had a several-month depression, I wanted the hours and days to pass more quickly. I don’t know why, but that was the feeling I had. Listening to books on audio helped me pass the time and learn new things. I focused on books about bipolar, trying to understand it better. I also listened to podcasts and watched videos about it.

Attend support groups. There are several support groups that I’ve found helpful. I recommend the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) via HeyPeers. It offers one-hour sessions both online and in person, focusing on living with depression, bipolar disorder, and other mood disorders like anxiety or PTSD. The meetings help because you see that you are not alone, as others share their stories. 

Individual therapy. Having a regular weekly therapist or psychologist to talk with is critical for my ongoing healing. Your insurance may cover it or check with a local social services office and see what free options are available.

Medicine from a psychiatrist. My family doctor first prescribed me Xanax at the beginning of the year. He had then diagnosed me with anxiety disorder. Later, I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder by a psychiatrist who prescribed Lamotrigine (Lamictal) for me. It’s a mood stabilizer and it seems to be working. 

Exercise. I know that seems so cliche, but it really does work for me. Even a simple walk around a few blocks helps shift my mind from negative thinking to something more positive. If I start to feel anxious, exercise helps me stop worrying.